A SEASON OF THANKFULNESS IN SOUTH DAKOTA

When I moved back to South Dakota a year and a half ago I didn’t know what to expect. I was thankful to move back in with my parents so that they could take care of me. I was thankful to be in the beautiful state of South Dakota that makes me proud to have grown up here. I was thankful to reconnect with my South Dakota family and friends. I was thankful to be near my dog. I was thankful to have my garden back. There were so many things I was thankful for.

But…

And yes, I did have to add that conjunction. I needed to say “except.”

Because I simply didn’t want to move back to South Dakota. I didn’t want to move away from the Reynolds and my friends in KC. This place I found to call home, that had city and country within a short drive. The place I loved and had to leave, where I learned so many life lessons, a place I truly became an adult, where I always had new places to explore, and the city that I made so many friends in. I hated to say goodbye.

I was thankful to move back to South Dakota for many reasons. I simply was tired and needed to go “home”. But I didn’t want to leave, to say goodbye to so many things.

Now hear me out, I understand that moving is a part of life and I do love a good adventure, God truly knows that about me. And God knew I could handle everything that he has put in my path. I am grateful to have such a loving Heavenly Father. Yet…

South Dakota just wasn’t appealing to me in many areas in life. They weren’t bad, but they have been a struggle. And I have found myself complaining to God quite a bit in this past year and a half.

First, I knew moving in with my parents would take away part of my adulating lifestyle. I would be their “little Katie” again, living under their roof, following their rules, submitting to let them “parent me” telling me what to do, tagging along to things they were going to. I never dreamed I would need my parents to take care of me like I was a little child, yet I did. It’s been hard and I’ve had to stand my ground on some areas of adulating and say, “please let me do this I don’t want to be enabled.” Yet, other areas of my life I really have needed my parents, to drive me places on days when I was unable, to sit with me when I was sad or lonely, to do things for me like make my meals, do my laundry, and help with paperwork on days I was unable. It’s been a struggle but I wouldn’t change a thing. Even on the hard days I’m thankful that God has me hear in this season.

Second, I never imagined I’d be back in this Community again. I will always love our Ranch but never dreamed I’d be back here to live again. I never thought I’d be building relationships with my Tolstoy church family again. I never dreamed I would be working in my home town. I just never thought this is where God would bring me back to, ever. But I have been so blessed, so encouraged by the community that surrounds me and I realize how thankful I am God has me here in this season.

Third, I didn’t know how well I had it in the city when it came to singleness. No one ever gave me a hard time about being single in the city. After everything that’s happened to me and all God has brought me though and taught me, I didn’t know how hard it would be to fight for singleness in my South Dakota community. Now don’t get me wrong, I want to date and get married one day, if that’s God’s plan. But honestly the thought of dating brings up many feelings for me. I don’t know if saying “I’ve been traumatized by dating” is the correct wording for me but it is something close. So, when I move to South Dakota where we have more cattle than people, I never thought so many people would give me a hard time about singleness. I understand that most married and dating people feel bad for the singles out there. But I never wanted anyone to feel bad for me. I never wanted anyone to give me a hard time about my singleness. I simply wanted people to love me, encourage me, and be ok with however my life turned out, single or married. When I tell people that if I date, it would only be when I’m ready and God brings someone into my life, no one seemed to understand and I’ve had to stand my ground telling people to stop giving me a hard time, that dating is a hard subject for me to process through. But through all the hard times, through all the trauma/grief processing God leads me through about dating, I know I am loved by a vast number of people who only want the best for me. As God continues to heal my heart in this area of life, I am thankful and I realize how blessed I am by God in this season of life.

Fourth, when Stephen died my mentor told me that God had big plans. That what God brought me through was something He was going to use to open doors for me to tell people about Him. Yes, I’m still in the process of publishing my book on God’s goodness. But I’m talking about something different. Since Stephens death God has placed me in so many people’s paths that have encountered the loss of a loved one. And each time He places someone into my life I think, “maybe just maybe, quite possibly God knew this all along.” In fact, I believe He did. God blessed me with going through traumatizing losses to be able to love and encourage other people that have gone through loss. Now that I think about it, there have been at least 10 deaths in the past 2 years of people I know that have lost a loved one. And although I never thought this would be my life, I realize how special it is. Not to talk to people about DEATH, but to share about LIFE and how good God is.

Lastly, I never knew how hard it would be to move back to South Dakota and not have close friendships here. What I went through, what my friends went through with me in KC brought us close very close and we became family through it all. So, when I moved back to South Dakota where I had some friends yes, but we were not as close anymore, it was hard to move back and not have that closeness of friendships. Yet, God has brought friends into my life to be close with here in South Dakota. And I’m very thankful for the friends I can hang with, laugh with and be encouraged by. I find myself very thankful, very blessed in this season of life God has brought me to.

I wouldn’t change a thing. Even on those days I really grumbled it out with God saying “life isn’t the way I wanted it to be,” and “this isn’t easy Lord,” I would find myself still waking up every morning to say, “Thank you Lord, thank you for where I’m at.” The joy of the Lord is in my heart even on the bad days, because I know even when the tears are streaming down my face that God is good and that his plan is great! People ask my why I’m so happy if I’m in so much pain, honestly it’s because I see life differently, that pain, trials, and tears bring me as much joy as someone who won a million dollars. For to me, there is a time for everything and in each season I learn more about who I am and who God has created me to be. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says there is a season for everything. And I believe that in each season we can find joy. Whether people are dying (as is the case for our community this year) or people are tired from all their toils. Whether crying or laughing. Whether at peace or at war. There is a time for everything and there is joy in the good and bad.

As I look back and think about this past year and a half of South Dakota living. I am grateful. As a human being I may always have my days of complaining and not wanting change, but I wouldn’t change a thing God has done in my life. God continues to teach me things, to give me this view of life that most people don’t have -that it’s ok to let Him create a new norm for your life. With each season I hope to become even more grateful. To hopefully stop some of that grumbling and instead embrace the changes and work towards a passionate lifestyle praising God no matter what may come.

I didn’t mean to ramble. I guess there was a lot on my heart to share with what God is doing in my life. The life of a gal that sees God’s goodness in her everyday life.

Love you all!

Go be thankful in this holiday season!